Isekai Cheat Magician Episode 9 Review: Commencement of Battle

The best thing about this episode is that this god-awful show will be ending very soon. I don’t think I have ever sinned in any way that justifies me having to watch it.

Plot

The sexiest and strongest man alive, the one every woman feels an indescribable need to rub her genitals on, the one who makes everyone feel warm and respected and all fuzzy inside, the man, Taichi, is looking for Rin, who has been summoned (along with him of course) by their breasts-only mentor witch Lemiya. They are now in the capital and need to prepare for war because some stupid princess decided that her twenty-four carat bet is more important than their free will, and they thought it would be a reasonably wise choice to help her. I am 12’’ in the episode and I’m already upset. At least the writing works faster this way. Rin has not only accepted this absurd duty but is now also volunteering as the palace gardener. In the meantime, the anti-king king’s brother and completely uninteresting douchebeard that was probably drawn by someone who hasn’t slept in the last 3 years is making war plans that I’m not paying any attention to.

The very naked head of kingsguard, whom I would characterize as an overly sexualized racist caricature if all the women in the show were not also naked, is informing the king that well, dude, war, you know. Then they all hang out in a room and look at her abs to talk strategy. Taichi has numerous brainfarts and so does Rin, and suddenly realized that he will need to kill a bunch of humans to survive this battle. Of course, he is willing to overlook this for the sake of some king and princess he’s just met, I mean, he can’t possibly let them down? Also, the kingsguard keeps asking him to marry her, in a setting and fashion that makes her sound very, very crazy, and I keep swallowing back the vomit every time.

Taichi goes to Rin’s room again and this time actually thinks of knocking. Rin asks him to stay in her room overnight, and naturally, he accepts. I mean, he may be an idiot, but he’s not a fool. Instead of actually having sex and escape, Taichi goes through the whole you-don’t-need-to-fight-no-I-do conversation with her, then Rin sleeps on his shoulder for like 20 seconds, then leaves. Before going to bed, he gets a feeling of being watched.

Lemiya and the elf are having some late night coffee (I do hope this is spiked) and talk about how they think Rin and Taichi are probably getting laid as they speak (they’re not, this is a lame show). Of course, Lemiya figures out someone is trying to kill them, and they all together plan to protect Rin by exchanging her body with two pillows. The assassin who’s sent to kill her fails, then kills himself.

Then there’s war. Taichi summons Aerial and basically destroys everyone. Now if this was a good show the episode would end there, instead of Taichi just opening a hole to the ground. But I suppose they have to do the whole battle thing, don’t they? The enemy prepares for some shiny magical attack and then the most basic fireballs and stones are thrown the city walls. I’m almost asleep by now.

Taichi activates supervision (lol) and SEES that the enemy troops are using power stones or something. What they don’t know (according to our heroes’ explanation) is that using magic stones will, in fact, kill them. Then everyone has a talk on how they should actually save instead of killing everyone (lol).

The soldiers are slowly dying and Taichi… does… things… while Rin is preparing some sort of spell as instructed by Lemiya. Then everyone wizards out and Rin casts a liberate spell to electrocute everyone (lol) making them faint. Then some ultra bad guy shows up and he has a mustache like a real perv and kills the wizard dude that was leading the fainted troops and then the war is over. Wow. Then they drink and eat and stuff, and Rin is actually like, a really good gardener. Vom vom vom.

Dear God,

Deliver us from evil!

How did you find this Isekai Cheat Magician episode? Let us know in the comment section! And don’t forget to check the rest of the Summer 2019 anime reviews on MANGA.TOKYO!