Isekai Cheat Magician Episode 5 Review: A Hint of Schemes

I hope you haven’t been holding your breath all week for this cause I sure as hell haven’t.

Plot

In continuation to this show’s monumental mediocrity, yet another episode has been released. I am willing to make the bet that it will include at least

one redundant battle
one sad or inappropriate sexual innuendo that would only excite horny teenagers
one reference to how AMAZINGLY POWERFUL AND BETTER THAN EVERYONE AND FULL OF POTENTIAL the protagonist is

All very original tropes that have never ever been witnessed in the isekai genre, so, you know, just take it easy. It may challenge your comfort zone, but you’re gonna be okay. Get yourself a cup of tea. Or maybe some hard liquor, so you can forget what you’ve watched. Just get whatever it is that helps you deal with unfathomable sadness.

So the episode starts with the shot of a leaf on a white duvet (okay) and I believe this is as cinematic as this show has ever been. Taichi wakes up under the duvet in what seems to be a very fancy room. He doesn’t remember how he got there (and neither do I because I’m seriously finding it hard to keep up with what’s going on with this show as every episode is exactly the same). Lemiya walks in and I’m guessing she’s gonna explain to us what’s going on? I sure hope so because as I said, I have no idea. After a couple of inanimate scenes the opening plays, my ears bleed, nothing new. Even the intro is terrible- which is usually the best part of really bad anime. Then again, as I’ve mentioned in the past, this is probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and not in the ‘so bad it’s good’ way. Right. Back to Lemiya’s place, we witness her (of course) tending to Taichi’s needs like a good mom (and not a bad ass most-powerful-witch-alive). They’ve even gone so far as to give her an apron. Mercy, my lords. Taichi eats and stares at her tits blushing, and I could count this as the sad sexual innuendo for today’s bingo, but I’m sure we’ll get a better catch. Lemiya explains to Taichi that he used up all his magical power and thus remained in a coma for a week. After further explanations on how the three of them have basically been taking care of him, Lemiya asks what happened in the northern forest and deducts it was the work of some baddies called crimson pact. Now I would transcribe what their intentions are, but since they are as unimportant as the rest of the plot, here’s all you need to know: they’re bad and they need to be stopped. Then Taichi refers to that loli spirit that’s kept stalking him and BOOM Lemiya stands up and bangs her hands on the table, her tits being too obviously flashed at the viewer for no reason. I want to flip my couch over and go cry somewhere. But wait, this can’t be the worst fanservice we’re getting for this episode, not 5 minutes in. They need to keep it strong with the lewd stuff so that the audience has something to focus on while literally nothing happens. Lemiya freaks out. I’m guessing that Aerial wind spirit is super important or whatever, and here is our first bingo for today. Taichi is important. Oh, and we just switched to a shot where her bent over ass filled a third of the screen. A THIRD. Ughhh. Taichi needs more explanations to why all this is important, because he is an idiot.

In the meantime, the crimson dudes are saying stuff. They’re dressed in medieval clothing but sit in post-industrial revolution furniture. And you know, normally I wouldn’t moan about that sort of thing, because fiction, but it’s so goddamn ugly and cheap, I’d rather be watching live surgery.

Back to Lemiya, she’s explaining to Taichi that he’s a Summoner who needs to make friends with spirits, like a Shaman, but like different, and this matters because… ah, because he can see them. But why are we told that Shaman’s can’t? It is of course, to show us how amazing Taichi’s class is, and to justify the fact that a spirit, that is, a celestial being, needs to have the form of a naked female child. Conversation is interrupted by generic female character who is (also) concerned about Saichi and has no personality of their own. No literally, everything she says or does is completely unrelated to her own existence. By the way, weren’t they in Lemiya’s house – how did they get to the inn??

Taichi goes for a walk to find Rin and Myura and on his way he meets – have a wild guess – a damsel in distress: some woman who’s being openly harassed by two men on the street. Nobody seems to care except for our knight in shining armour who of course is there to save women from being raped all the damn time, and there’s our second bingo for today: sexual harassment. Hell, she is so thankful that we get a full, blunt af shot of her tits followed with a pretty clear statement that Taichi would be sleeping with her. She’s the assassin Taichi almost killed and she now joined the guild and goes about kicking people’s asses while wearing a low cut dress. Together they break into the crimson people’s place and find a hint that will lead them to them. Forgot to say; they kick some assassin ass on their way there, so here’s our last bingo for today: a battle nobody cares about. And I bet they’ll all duplicate by the end of this episode.

Somewhere else, joining yet another redundant battle, Myura and Rin are being interrupted as they speak about how great Taichi is. They’re attack by some crimson people again. Myura is abducted, way too easily, like in seconds. Just you wait until we get to see her tied up and helpless very soon. Taichi and the assassin are following their hints to somewhere underground. They’re like, bonding or something. Rin is invited to save Myura by Grammy. And YEAH here she is, Myura all tied up with a bunch of dudes about to perform a sacrifice on her. Rin saves her, it’s super effective. WHEN DOES THIS END? Oh wait, the crimson boss and the white haired dude come to the scene. I’m assuming they’ll capture both. They also mention that thousands of monsters are about to attack. For whatever reason. They say they’ll destroy everything. I freaking hope so. Then this will all be over.

There is no hope

Definitely, undoubtedly, the worst show I have ever had to watch. Oh wait, why was Myura captured again? Oh right. For no reason relevant to the plot whatsoever.

How did you find this Isekai Cheat Magician episode? Have your eyes fallen off their sockets yet? Are you wishing for a quick, painless death? Let us know in the comment section! And don’t forget to check the rest of the Summer 2019 anime reviews on MANGA.TOKYO!