Isekai Cheat Magician Episode 4 Review: Crimson Pact

It’s not red you pleb; it’s goddamn CRIMSON, OKAY?

Plot

The captive assassin is sitting inside her prison cell, having a private moment where she wonders why our boi Taichi did not kill her and secretly admires his overwhelming power. Well, sorry to burst your bubble but the only reason why you’re still alive is because Taichi is the protagonist of a really bad anime who doesn’t really go through actual moral dilemmas and just let you live cause he’s supposed to be some noble good guy, because if he was a normal human being with any damn sense in his pea-sized mind he would have turned that thick skull of yours into dusk by smashing it against the wall to make sure you’re not gonna try to kill him, again. Or maybe he just wanted to captivate you for the $$? Either way, don’t flatter yourself. Let’s move on.

Dwarf dude comes in. He asks the assassin if she’s decided what she wants to do. Not entirely sure why she’s still allowed to wear her uniform.

Meanwhile, in the farmlands, Taichi and the gang are still trying to find the people messing with the farmers. Was that like an ogre or something last time? It’s too generic for me to remember. They find some thugs stealing bananas or whatever, and they’re armed. Taichi takes another chance to play the hero. He acts like a total prick. He doesn’t seem very sympathetic to the fact that these people might have been stealing to eat.

Ultra-generic white haired dude gives him a handshake, and his hands are like, super soft. That makes our genius protagonist suspect him, and of course he’s right. Casim is a yandere douche who’s been backstabbing the farmers the whole time! NO WAY WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS NOT ACTUALLY A FARMER. Some invisible chick shows up and everyone takes a fighting pose which lasts for an inexplicable amount of time.

Myura and Rin are fighting the invisible chick and it’s so badly animated it makes my stomach turn. In the meantime, Cassim summons an ice monster that was probably copy pasted from a Pokemon sequel. At this point, I am genuinely ignoring every single word that comes out of their mouth; what difference does it make, anyway? I wouldn’t even have to look if I wanted to; they’re not gonna lose this battle, and everything they say is useless. The ice monster spits on Taichi or something. Cassim is feeding something to his monster that makes it change color (lol). Hence the crimson title. Oh god. Taichi is bleeding out of his mouth. How exciting. Now I’m really concerned about his safety, yeah he’s definitely in danger. GET ON WITH IT.

And yeah, of course, that didn’t take long did it? The battle stops for a moment so that Taichi will take some time to ask what will happen to his weak-ass girlfriends, even though this is completely unrelated to the battle. Cassim quickly reassures him that he’s gonna make sure they get raped, and we get the customary shot of the two of them naked and powerless. It really makes me wanna gag.

Naturally, none of that happens. The girls win against invisi-chick and, surprisingly, Taichi is being stomped by the red elemental beast thing. They girls give up and kind of quietly accept their future rapelord. Then that little Zelda-style fairy shows up and makes a pact with Taichi. Something is telling me that this wind-spirit chick is gonna be completely naked, just wait for it. Taichi, owning a new power, fights back and surprises everyone with his awesomeness. WHEN WILL THIS END? Ah ok he won.

Rien de rien

There are very few things I regret as much as wasting my life watching this horrible show.

How did you find this Isekai Cheat Magician episode? Did your eyes and various body crevices inexplicably begin to bleed? Let us know in the comment section! And don’t forget to check the rest of the Summer 2019 anime reviews on MANGA.TOKYO!