Christian artist and gamer. Crazy about ducks and the color purple.
We’re finally given a peek inside the mind of Orange’s main focus, Kakeru. Up until today, we’ve only seen his actions from his friends’ point of view, so it feels very fulfilling to finally know what’s really been going on in his mind. Just in time too, because we’ve been led to believe that he’s on his way to getting better, but last week, all his feelings of guilt exploded, making him snap at Naho for her insensitive words.
Well, I did say that we finally saw Kakeru’s side of the story, but not exactly. The episode’s first half was about the Kakeru of the future, about the events that caused him to spiral even further down into depression. Throughout the series of unfortunate happenings, my heart was breaking for the poor boy!
First, because of the meet-up with his friends from Tokyo, he felt like he could never confide to his new friends about his problems. Those guys were totally different from Naho’s group though if you ask me. They were real jerks! When he expressed his problems to them, they just laughed them off! Who does that? But, for someone who feels alone, everyone’s the same, so he quickly assumed his new friends would do the same thing if he ever told them about his true feelings. He ended up just keeping these to himself. He also thought they should just keep on having fun; there’s no room for depressing stuff in their group.
Second, when he was still in Tokyo, he was a member of the soccer club. They had a match, but their team lost because of him, and he was blatantly blamed for it. This led him to fear joining the soccer club in his new school (aside from respecting his mother’s wish). Not only that, but when he tripped and lost the relay race during the athletic meet, it made him feel horrible. The same thing just happened again after all – because of him, the red team lost. No wonder it was a huge deal to him!
Eventually he felt like he was just making trouble for the people around him, especially after his first suicide attempt. His frustrations and regrets were just piling up. This caused him to get annoyed more easily, and then get mad at the people who were just trying to help him out, which just made him have more regrets. It was a constant cycle. And he had no outlet, no one to talk to about these things, so it was no surprise that he exploded on Naho during the shrine visit. He was actually mad at himself though, not at Naho. But he felt too horrible to apologize, until the gap between them eventually just grew wider and wider.
The last straw was when he read the text his mother never sent to him before she died. For the longest time, he was actually annoyed with his mother’s selfish actions: divorcing his father, moving to Matsumoto, throwing out his soccer equipment, all without telling him. But in her text, she explained why she did those things; it was for Kakeru’s sake. The only regret she had was getting in his way and never considering his feelings.
I wish his mother talked to him about her thoughts instead of leaving him behin. Kakeru wished she did too. Reading her unsent text just made him feel worse for treating her the way he did. I don’t know if it would’ve been better for him to have just not read the text at all though, but in his current state, I guess it didn’t really matter. He already wanted to die so badly, to be with his mother and apologize, to not trouble other people anymore. And so he rode his bike with the intent to die, and he did. He didn’t notice the truck and fell right to it (which could had been shown better in my opinion). I think it’s worthy to note that his last thoughts were of Naho.
Back to the present, Naho was doing everything she can to reconcile with Kakeru. Unlike her future self, she was able to apologize, which was great! On the surface, it seemed like Kakeru accepted it, but in reality, he was obviously still avoiding her. This made the girl really sad. She thought about the time she spent with him, all the feelings they shared; they’d all be lost. She’d lose him.
Jumping to the future, the five friends faced the facts: Kakeru was no longer with them. If only they did things differently, if there was a way to go back to the past. Then Hagita mentioned there was a theory of a black hole in the Bermuda Triangle located in the Atlantic Ocean. It seemed like a stretch, but they still wanted to try it. They’d send letters addressed to themselves, in hopes that there’d be a miracle. I wonder if they ever found out that the letters successfully got to their destination, though. All that mattered to them was that they wanted to save Kakeru.
The Naho of the present wanted this too, so she continued working hard to restore her relationship with Kakeru. She told him to wait until Valentine’s Day. What did she have in mind?
I gotta say, the background music was the winner in the latest episode. It carried the scenes during future Kakeru’s flashbacks, especially when he was reading his mother’s texts. It just matched so perfectly with the mood, and gave me so many feels! I also thought that the writing was very well done. I could perfectly relate to what Kakeru was thinking, and understood why he wanted to quit life.
It was also a good thing to tell the story of what happened in the future at this point in the story. It felt so good to know what Kakeru has been feeling all this time, kinda like finally getting the cherry on top of the ice cream. It also let us know that, because of the gang’s intervention, everything is less horrible in the present. And maybe, just maybe Kakeru will be okay. Though, because of how he was acting after his spat with Naho, it makes us feel like Kakeru may still end up with his fate.
The only qualm I have about everything is how they got the letters sent to the past. If their only goal was to erase even a bit of their regrets, then it would be okay. But they really believed they could save Kakeru by leaving it up to chance, by doing something seemingly impossible. But, of course, the letters got to their destination safely or we wouldn’t have a story in the first place. I guess that’s how it is.
Some scenes could have been choreographed/drawn better though, like the truck accident and Kakeru’s crying face as he was riding his bike. It didn’t look like he was crying enough, and that accident was very lazily done. And naturally, some drawings were really off.
We’re gonna have a very dramatic episode next week. It’s the last episode after all, so we’re finally going to have answers on Kakeru’s fate! What do you think will happen?
Currently Airing. Started on July 3, 2016